Lookin' Rough

I think Devin is the only one in our household that looks decent these days -- I have a perma-ratsnest thing going on in the back of my hair (happened after I had Lily too, despite daily conditioning) and of course, the glorious saggy belly leftover from pregnancy. Also, I may or may not be wearing deoderant at any given moment. Visitors, consider this your warning. Lily gets a shower every few days, but her hair manages to never look normal, not to mention frequent ice cream trips with Daddy leave some sort of weird staining on her face. Mr Colin has a goopy eye (I'm thinking clogged tear duct), baby acne, and the same amount of chins as Buddha. I swear, I bet he's 10 lbs already! He's already lost that tiny newborn look and now looks like a chunky man with a wobbly head.

Being a mom of two is infinitely harder than I thought it would be. I have had a few breakdowns this week, but luckily, I have a pretty awesome family to swoop in and help out. Lily has been up my ass, for lack of a better phrase. She has also become more defiant, which I think she knows she can get away with, as I am usually sedentary, stuck with a baby on my boob. Wednesday and Thursday, I managed to take both kids out successfully together (Thursday, we went to Earthfare for Gripe Water, it was imperitive), so I'm hoping that will continue to go well, as getting out of the house seems to relieve some of the stress.

Colin has been unusually fussy and its starting to wear on me. He seems to have some sort of painful gas and I don't know if its my antibiotics, my diet, his immature tummy, or something else. We have a lot of screaming going on over here during the day and its hard to take sometimes. Luckily, whatever bothers him during the day does not seem to impact his nights. He seems to sleep consistently from about 11-4/5 am and then from 4/5 (whenever he passes back out) to 8 or 9 am. Thank God for those 4 hour blocks of sleep, they may be my only saving grace.

We still haven't completely hit our groove with breastfeeding. I am still pumping, mainly at night because Colin tends to fall asleep while nursing, pop off, wake up, cry, pop back on -- its a tad too painful still to endure. I realize that its a process and I'm doing the best I can and we haven't had to use any formula at all, so I figure that'll have to be good enough for now.

I have to say, I'm so glad I"m in Recovery because free therapy and weekly or sometimes daily reminders of gratitude are what keeps me going. I have awesome friends in my life, both in and out of recovery and I thank God for it everyday. Hopefully the next few weeks will find us all looking and feeling a little better. I'm gonna try to work in a haircut at some point and may consider using deoderant daily. Maybe.